The Inopportune Reappearance Conundrum is Real.

23 Jan
My dear friend Mego recently wrote a blog post about the Time-Space Continuum and while I was reading it I thought, “Damn, that Mego has nailed it.” If there is one thing I have learned as of recently, it’s that I am not the only one who suffers from “It’s Complicated” relationships. Granted, most people probably don’t have the majority of their relationships attached to this description – but maybe this is all part of some wacky character building plan in my life. (I sure hope not.)
 
One year ago I was in the midst of the demise of the poster child of “It’s Complicated” relationships – seriously, don’t challenge me, I know it was way too bizarre to compete with. DJ Anonymous did a number on me – he not only hurt my feelings in a personal and private way but he also shared this experience with a small group of people I like to call the CITY OF PORTLAND. Yeah. You heard me. This was a person who I considered one of my closest friends and within a few days we would become nothing more than two people who know of each other.
 
I did what any emotionally distant and compulsively reactant person would do – I shut down. It took about a week but I stopped crying, I stopped feeling like I was constantly going to be sick, I started living off more than Starbucks and water and I stopped caring. The offers from my friends to throw drinks on him, chew him out, beat him in a public place and totally shun him were nice but I relied on myself. If I didn’t think and care about him then he didn’t exist.
 
In true JDub fashion I changed my hair, I moved into a new apartment, I made new friends, I went out – A LOT  and eventually I realized there was a fantastic guy standing right next to me – judging strangers and drinking with the best of them. (Two of my favorite hobbies and really, they are life passions). After some time I moved on. I eventually changed jobs and my life is basically totally different than it was a year ago. Different for the better, naturally.
 
I think is the part where “Happy Ever After” comes in…well this is my life we are talking about so that really isn’t standard procedure. My hair is still awesome, my new friends are still fabulous, my new apartment is home and my new job is great, that fantastic guy I met is still one of my best friends and can basically do no wrong by me but things are not a fairy tale. So of course DJ Anonymous reaches out. Yep, now of all times – when things are good but not great. Here’s where we get to the Inopportune Reappearance Conundrum which is basically the theory that people you may have dated and had relationships with but for some reason you weren’t lucky enough to end it, well they will come back into your life when it’s really the last thing you need and/or want at that certain time. 
 
I’m out to dinner with some of my fabulous new friends busy having great hair and chatting about a number of random topics when I check my phone. There on my phone is a text message from DJ Anonymous noting it’s been too long and it’s his bad and that he would like to get a drink or a milkshake and talk with me. I like drinks, hell I love milkshakes, but really now…after a year…when I am just as confused as ever about dudes and thinking it’s a logical possibility that no guy is ever fully going to understand the enigma that is JDub. Right now, he’s reaching out now?!?
 
Here I am in a situation where I’ve let a fantastic guy in to my life and right when things are a bit rocky but when I know through being with him that I can admit that not all guys are going to cheat on girls or lie to them or be jerks. Right now…awesome. 
 
Checkmate to you DJ Anonymous for crazying up my life a little more.
 
It’s the Inopportune Reappearance Conundrum in full effect, just another bit of evidence to make this theory a fact. Dudes like DJ Anonymous do come back when you really could live without them…and I will. 
 
I know I will live my life sans DJ Anonymous because of the following reasons:
1. My friends will kill me. Literally, they will not stand for this.
2. There are good, decent guys out there, The Sox Fan is living proof of this. 
3. I have faith that things happen for a reason. There was a reason DJ Anonymous needed to exit my life and in the wake of his departure I was able to recognize an amazing man standing right in front of me. 
4. I’m better off, nothing about DJ Anonymous made me a better person. I guess if I want to be another girl with blinders on and a willing participant in being a passive emotional doormat than I’ll give him a call but I don’t think that’s likely. 
5. Frankly, he’s just not worth it.  
 
  
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