My New Favorite Blog

14 Feb

Is it strange to be blogging about another blog out there? Will doing so reduce my current blogging audience? Answer: I don’t know. Blondie sent over this gem today and I instantly was a fan: www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.org.

This blog is written solely about stuff white people like – it’s a mass generalization and it has to be written by someone from the Northwest but it’s fantastic and so on point.

Some of my favorite entries on this laundry list are:

  • Film Festivals: White people like feeling smart without doing work – 2 hours in a theater is easier than 10 hours with book. *The Sox Fan…you are SO white. 🙂
  • Diversity: White people love diversity, but only as it pertains to restaurants.
  • Wes Anderson Movies 
  • Being an expert on YOUR culture
  • Microbreweries: Being able to walk into a bar and order a beer that no one has heard of makes white people feel good about their alcohol drinking palate. Birdlegs…they are talking to you.
  • Marathons
  • Breakfast Places
  • Renovations
  • Vintage
  • Apologies
  • Knowing what’s best for poor people
  • Recycling

But by far the best entries for me personally were: Asian Girls. I’m including most of the post here because I liked it so much and it hit home. White People love Asian Girls – and Japan – which was a separate entry but had more to do with futuristic living and anime (lame).

 

95% of white males have at one point in their lives, experienced yellow fever. Many factors have contributed to this phenomenon such as guilt from head taxes, internment camps, dropping the Nuclear bomb and the Viet Nam War.

 

This exchange works both ways as asian girls have a tendency to go for white guys. (White girls never go for asian guys. Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad are the only recorded instances in modern history). 

 

White men love asian women so much that they will go to extremes such as stating that Sandra Oh is sexy, teaching English in Asia, playing in a coed volleyball league, or attending institutions such as UBC or UCLA (please note that both schools’ colors of “blue” and “yellow” are intentional also the “A” in “UCLA” stand for “Asian” while the “B” in “UBC” stands for “Billion” try and figure out what the rest of the letters stand for). Another factor that draws white guys to asian women is that white women are jealous of them.

Take for instance the fact that asian women well into their 30s and 40s retain teen / college girl looks without the help of botox, yoga or a trendy diet (future posts). Asian women also avoid key white women characteristics such as having a mid life crisis, divorce, and hobbies that don’t involve taking care of the children (also future posts). Should white guy / asian girl marry, they produce hybirds that are aestically pleasing, but are very annoying. This practice is also a means by which white people can catch up to the asian peoples in the population race, as most of the hybirds often act white rather than asian.

references: Bananas, Toyota Prius, Michelle Branch, California Roll, Johnny Damon, Kristen Kreuk, 40% of Vancouver’s population. 

Halfies are quite aestically pleasing but we are NOT annoying. Just for the record.

The list of references had me laughing on and off for the better part of the day. Mostly because of my previous post regarding how strangers think I look like Michelle Branch and how clever the Toyota Prius and California Roll comments were. Finally, because The Officer – a guy I dated for most of college – L-O-V-E-D Kristen Kreuk, the chick from Smallville and the Neutrogena commercials. He was open about his whole Asian Attraction though.

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5 Responses to “My New Favorite Blog”

  1. mylosh February 15, 2008 at 1:40 am #

    thanks for the positive comments, most ppl hate us, i forgot to mention that %129 of all asian white/hybirds live in oregon, washington, & BC

  2. birdlegs February 15, 2008 at 9:13 am #

    Great just what I need, another blog to take up my morning. I laughed out loud while reading this since of course it’s dead on and I like all of those things except vintage and Wes Anderson movies.

    I may start referring to you as the other Michelle Branch from now on:)

  3. Blondie February 15, 2008 at 11:06 am #

    So glad you’re loving the blog… I had a feeling that it would be a topic here 🙂

  4. ACTH February 15, 2008 at 4:32 pm #

    Um…this is fabulous…as are you…

    that is all

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 2010 | A Year in Blogging Review « If Julie Fell - February 1, 2011

    […] My New Favorite Blog February 2008 4 comments 5 […]

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