Raspy Voice and Being Lindsay Lohan

15 Apr

I survived The Vegas. 6 days, 1 large corporate event, my first business travel with the new company – I made it. We had awesome rooms – suites actually – at the Palazzo, the newest hotel on the Venetian property complete with sunken living rooms, 3 plasmas – including viewable from the shower so I could get my SportsCenter fix while waking up. It’s hard to know where exactly to begin in re-capping this event but I’ll gloss over the main points.

1. I drove a white Ford Econoline 8 person van around the airport, The Strip and throughout the neighboring Vegas areas. It was huge, hard to handle and being that I am all of 5′ 3″ I could barely be seen over the massive steering column. I picked up staging dudes from the airport, I drove to New Mexico and back (practically) getting all sorts of random shenanigans including $700 in printer ink cartridges. I had to park that bad boy in only one small section of available “oversize” parking spots in a hotel parking structure which was hell enough and led to at least one violent outburst on the steering wheel. Large van = lame.

2. I never slept for more than 4 hours a night. Tops. As an editor’s note: the 4 hours maximum I mentioned may have only been obtained on one of the nights I was gracing The Vegas with my presence. Oh and those small number of hours I was sleeping – well, that was after having been on my feet running around like a crazy person for 16+ hour work days. I love frantic frazzled working.

3. I entertained a celebrity talent. I was talent wrangler and even though I get nervous around strangers and people I don’t know (true story, most people just can’t tell because I cover my nerves with pointless but witty banter). I collected him from the airport, we had dinner together backstage, I provided color commentary and observational analysis about the event thus far to him. He mentioned a quip of mine while performing. I think we’re homies.

4. Dealertainers. Yes, dealers in casinos dressed and lipsyncing on stage to their songs. This was of course a rare gem I experienced at the Imperial Palace…a place I never again plan to visit because I found myself there for at least 3 nights in A ROW. (Not my choice). My favorite dealertainer = Fake Billy Idol. He really went all out for the look and clearly took pride in his performances on the main stage, but his fist pump was weak. One night after a few J&C’s I was walking back from the restroom, saw him and said “Hey Fake Billy Idol” to which he replied in a pathetic, defeated tone “Fake?”. Yeah, FAKE. Dude, you are not a Billy Idol impersonator in a show, you are a dealer to touch screen electronic roulette tables. Rebel Yell is not your authentic work.

After my LONG adventure into Las Vegas I came away with a raspy, old woman smoker voice/cough. It partly is the nasty cold but I know it’s also all that time in smoky casinos and especially in the Palazzo property and casino where they pipe in the most overwhelming and musky fragrant floral old lady perfume. It seriously burned through my sinuses. Sick.

When I got back from Vegas I knew I was tired but when I literally went to bed and did not emerge from my bed and wake up for 17 hours I was a firm believer that Lindsay Lohan and those other teen beat queens are not lying when they run away to a resort because they are suffering from exhaustion. I was wiped out and my body was not having it. It probably didn’t help that I drank virtually no water, rarely ate  and lived off orange gatorade and J&C’s for 6 days straight on no sleep…oops.

I’m back, still hacking up a little of the vegas that lingers in my lungs but getting back to 100%.

Dear Vegas, I still love you. But we need to have this trial seperation until I am healthy and mentally ready to take you on again. I’ll do my best to adhere to my 3 day maximum rule in the future. Thanks for the good times. xoxo, JDub.

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One Response to “Raspy Voice and Being Lindsay Lohan”

  1. 27 Dresses April 18, 2008 at 12:13 am #

    I like reading your blog in China. 🙂

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